


Yuuya With A Guitar

by Nhitori



Category: Hatoful Kareshi | Hatoful Boyfriend, The Lorax (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, F/M, I'm Sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-10 15:58:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5592367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nhitori/pseuds/Nhitori
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hachiman Littledove?  What's that?  We all live in Thneedville.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Yuuya With A Guitar

Everything was just splendid in the town formerly known as Hachiman Littledove. No, even better than splendid, it was perfect! Everyone always enjoyed themselves, and there was absolutely nothing wrong. Well… The air wasn’t so clean, but that was okay! Francois Le Bel sold nice clean air to anybody who needed it, a rather greedy man who didn’t quite understand the concept of a limited economy, seeing as Thneedville was entirely closed off from the rest of the world which appeared to be a complete wasteland… There was only so much money he could get without completely bankrupting everyone else in Thneedville… Ah, but that was logic, and logic just doesn’t exist in Thneedville. Capitalism had smothered everyone’s miserable individuality…

But not Hiyoko Tosaka. No, she was just as full of her free spirit as she ever could be, and Ryouta Kawara was just as hopelessly in love with her as he’d ever been. On this particular day he’d ridden his motor-powered-unicycle-scooter, a common item among Thneedville kids, to the house of his childhood friend. In Thneedville, even orphans had houses. No caves in Thneedville! Luckily for everyone there was no greedy real estate tycoon. Only a greedy air tycoon with an incredibly thin grasp on how economies worked. After arriving and being dragged into her backyard and near-suplexed onto his back, Ryouta was keen to listen to whatever it was Hiyoko had to say.

“Ryouta look I painted shit all over my neighbor’s wall,” She said with a grin as she pointed at her neighbor’s house and what the fuck was that? The fuck? Did a toothbrush and a fursuit have a baby? Before Ryouta was able to voice her confusion, Hiyoko explained, “THOSE are trees. Truffula trees! They used to grow all around here, not that I can explain how I know about them or anything. I hear that their tufts are softer than silk, and they smelled as sweet as butterfly milk!” 

“What in the world is butterfly milk?” Ryouta questioned, sitting up.

“Hell if I know but apparently it smells exactly like a truffula tree. I want to see a real one! Because, you know, it’s a perfectly normal dream of a teenaged girl to want to see an extinct species of plant.”

“Well, what would you do if somebody got you one?”

“Marriage. One hundred percent. Anyone who can get me a truffula tree? Husband material right there.”

“I see…” Ryouta nodded, then probably talked about some other stuff with Hiyoko but later it was dinner and for some reason all of the food was Jell-O. Thanks Thneedville. After some unfruitful conversation about electronic trees, Mrs. Kawara left the table and Ryuuji leaned into his son with some sort of ridiculous grin across his face.

“SO son, you were curious about trees? Real trees? Eewoowoo trees?” He questioned cheerfully.

“...Truffula trees.”

“Right, those!” Ryuuji laughed, “Ah, whatever they’re called, there’s an old legend! It says that if you bring some weird shit to a dude named The Onceler, he’ll tell you about trees! I think it’s like… a nail… fifteen cents… oh, and a snail! You’re in luck!” He reached into his pocket then put a snail in Ryouta’s hand, “I’ve got one right here! You’ll have to find the other stuff yourself, though!”

“All right… thanks,” Ryouta nodded slowly as he watched the snail crawl across his hand. It was a really old snail. In any case, after finishing the jell-o dinner, he got the other things he needed then rode out on his motorized unicycle to go through The Wall which separated Thneedville from all the rest of the wasteland outside which contributed nothing to their economy, which was truly stagnant.

The Onceler seemed to live in a really beat up shack and everything said to keep away. Ryouta could be dumb at times, but he wasn’t dumb enough to just go up and ring the doorbell of some sketchy dude who obviously didn’t want visitors. He just shouted instead, “HEY! Mister Onceler! You in there?? I want to learn about Truffula Trees!”

“Don’t call me ‘Mister Onceler’ that’s ridiculous and obnoxious. They just call me The Onceler because I was Once a big deal. My NAME is Yuuya Sakazaki and if you want to hear about the trees, well, you ought to call me that!” He sounded shockingly cheerful, for a bitter old man.

“Well then, Sakazaki? Can you tell me about trees?”

“ABsoluterly!” He sounded fucking ridiculous but then it was FLASHBACK TIME to days when he was neither old nor bitter and was actually taking off on a wagon with the very non-reassuring words of his family echoing in his ears.

After a while of traveling he pulled out a guitar and maybe he was going to strum some relatable melody, but it got cut out because of time. Instead, the cinematic progression just allowed the feel of time passing by, and eventually he reached an amazing grove full of what else but truffula trees? There were also a lot of weird animals and NOW he was going to play a song because that’s what people with guitars do.

“Anyway, here’s Wonderwall,” Yuuya said, hopping off his wagon then playing Wonderwall as he danced through the Truffula forest, but then started throwing things out of the wagon and making all the animals mad at him. That is, until he threw marshmallows at them. Very fickle crowd, these animals. Of course, they momentarily hated him again because he picked up an axe and chopped down a truffula tree, but what can you do?

Yuuya was off doing something or other while the whole thing happened of course, because he was just a dumb shit like that, but soon enough he turned around from what he was doing to see somebody short. Or at least, much shorter than him.

“Hey, Beanpole. I have a few things to say to you,” He sounded pissed. Yuuya crossed his arms.

“Who are you and what are you doing here?” He questioned, not having seen any signs of non-animal life when he’d first arrived. He was pretty sure he would have noticed if there was somebody living here…

“I’m Hitori. I speak for the trees,” The shorter man spoke matter-of-factly.

“What now?”

“You chopped down a tree, so I’m here to be mad at you,” He explained, shrugging, “That’s how it works, all right? You need to get out of the forest right now immediately.”

“Well you’re jumping to a lot of conclusions here. Can’t I just stay here and not cut down any more trees?” Yuuya questioned, only to see Hitori walking away, “Where are you going??”

“I’m hatching a plan to make you regret chopping down that tree, okay?” He shrugged again, “That’s just how I do things.”

“Well if I were the trees, I’d be annoyed that such a stody person was speaking on my behalf! Jeez! You’d think trees would have a sense of humor…”

fuckingh shit i cant i cant keep writing more hatoful/lorax crackfic I cant do it maybe someday I’ll finish this but for now this is ALL you get im in too much pain for this shit


End file.
